"Oh I will become what I deserve"

Life. The fragility of it baffles me and amazes me all at the same time. My new job as an animal control officer has been bestowed upon me due to the experiences of the past two years. If I hadn’t changed my life back in 2010, I wouldn’t be where I am today in 2012. If I hadn’t taken the risks I did, or made the choices I have, my life wouldn’t be my life. I wouldn’t be the person I am as I write this. Despite the fact that there are obviously difficult parts to this new career of mine, I still adore what I’m doing, just like I cherished every moment of my time at the Cove in spite of the difficulty. I say from experience, that if we choose to look at the negative and focus on the difficult, life would be an overwhelming mess of shit. People often comment on my positive attitude and lack of mood swings, but I haven’t always been this way. Just ask my mother. My negative attitude was always a cause for concern and she was perpetually encouraging me to be more positive. But I was hurt by life and easily lapsed into the role of ‘victim’, overshadowing all I had to be thankful for. I honestly don’t know what made me change, but I suppose that one day I grew tired of being constantly angry. Yes, my father abandoned me…but my step-father is the greatest man on this earth. Yes, my brother was murdered…but that eventually led me to the man that I would spend eight years of my life with; a man that showed me that I deserve love. And that took me to Sea Shepherd, which took me to Japan, which forever changed who I am. Japan took me to the Steve Irwin, where I made the most incredible friends and experienced a peaceful and magical love that simultaneously empowered me and broke me. The bonds I created at the Cove took me to Australia where I met an amazing soul that impacted my life so deeply that a little part of my heart will forever belong to him. Australia took me to Amsterdam where I reconnected with a long-lost soul sister and made new friends that brought music back into my life. Everything that happens, everyone we meet, impacts us and alters the course we’re on, either drastically or so minutely that we don’t really notice. I’m an incredibly strong believer that everything happens for a reason, whether great or small, good or bad. It’s taken me a long time to get to the point I’m at now; the point where I am truly happy, even in times of pain. Seeing dolphins die at the Cove changed the way I view the world. Standing alone in a hospital corridor, weeping while my sister-in-law cradled her deceased baby on the other side of the door, changed the way I see the world. Pain is something I have chosen to learn from, not be ruled by. Life is an amazing thing, despite the fact that our hearts are fragile. This time we have is so limited and I choose to surround myself with amazing people who love me for who I am; strong people who are happy with themselves. So now I stand, so happy-hearted for everything I have been blessed with. Anything else is a waste of the precious time we have.