"Someday Never Comes"

Sometimes, when you’re least expecting it, an amazing conversation takes place with someone who means the world to you. Tonight was one of those times. Sitting in my car overlooking Bellingham Bay, my dear friend, Tawni and I pondered the meaning of life until late into the night. Tawni, her husband and their three year old son are preparing to move to Vienna, Austria for two years to serve as missionaries. They are leaving their family behind, quitting their jobs and moving to a country where life is so totally different, simply to pursue something they have faith in. The admiration I hold for them is immense. Nearly two years ago, Tawni and I sat in her car and amazed over the reality that I was changing my life to move to Japan in order to follow my dreams. It has come full-circle and we both awed over the fact that whatever it is we dream to do… is possible. It’s possible to have the life you desire and I feel thankful to be strong enough and courageous enough to have taken the steps to change my life. I feel thankful to have others in my life that are strong, courageous and inspiring. It takes sacrifice and it’s damn hard at times, but it’s possible and it’s worth it. This is an endless race we are running, always trying to have more money and all the while pushing our dreams aside and using phrases like “someday”. But someday never comes and I’ve learned that life won’t wait for you. When my dying day comes, I want to think back to my time in Japan, to my time aboard the Steve Irwin, to the people I shared my heart with and to the lives I’ve touched. I don’t want my thoughts to be consumed by time clocks and annual reviews. My mind and my heart are changed due to the experiences I’ve had these past years. Now, forgiveness is something that comes more easily to me. Seeing death day in and day out changes the way you look at the world and the people around you. Some tend to downplay the emotional trauma I experienced simply because the death was not human. But death is death and tragedy is tragedy. Hearing the screams of dolphins as they lay dying traumatized me and will stay with me forever. However, because of that, I have been able to move on from the hurt of my past that used to unnecessarily haunt me. I have learned to use pain to make me strong and I would rather have people to love and risk being hurt than live a life devoid of connection. For me, life is not about money or how much I can make. It’s not about how expensive my car is or how tropical my vacation was. It’s about making a difference and connecting with amazing people that inspire me, such as Tawni. I’m a richer person for having known her and because of having shared my life with her. To learn more about what Tawni and family are doing in Austria, you can check out their blog here: http://seantawn.blogspot.com/