In the months that I’ve been home from the ship I’ve had numerous people comment that they miss my email updates. My response to them is always the same: nothing exciting happens in my life when I’m not on campaign. But then I got to thinking that even though I’m not on campaign, I could still write interesting blogs that would let you, the reader, know what it’s like to be a full-time activist. It’s not all glory; in fact, there’s very little glory at all. The true story lies in the preparation before the campaign.
I’ve been immersed in the rat race for the whole of my adult life thus far. I’ve managed offices and employees. I’ve been entrusted with bank deposits that almost made me weep when I saw the amount. I’ve hired, I’ve fired, I’ve done employee evaluations and I’ve sat in on weekly meetings that are so unimportant to this world that it nearly made me sick. I’ve lived the “American Dream”…and it terrified me. All those years I felt so wasted, so meaningless and so petty. The life I was living was not changing the world for the better as I had always dreamed I would. Yet, I owned a home and didn’t have to count pennies every time I went grocery shopping. I loved my brand new home, my new Subaru, my photography career. I loved the town I lived in, I loved my pets and I loved my husband beyond words. But I was suffocating in normalcy. I have always had a longing inside me, scratching the surface trying to break free, to make a difference in this world. That longing has never waned and as I grew older and settled into the life that society expected me to lead, I began to struggle against the confines that this life presented.
Money has never been a driving factor in my life and I didn’t understand why I was running the rat race if the cheese held absolutely no appeal to me. But you need money to survive; it is the devil that rules our world. When the opportunity to volunteer in Japan presented itself, I shutter still when I think back to how close I was to passing it up. In order to go, I would have to quit my job and throw us into the life of a single-income home; something we could manage but weren’t entirely thrilled about. But as the days passed I thought more and more about what I would be giving up by not going to Japan. I was being presented my dream: direct action conservation, living in a foreign land, working with dolphins and fighting for what I believe in. Here it all was, on a silver platter, and I was going to turn it down. WTF? They say that hindsight is 20/20, but in this case, I was fortunate enough to realize the gripping tragedy of making the wrong decision.
After much deliberation, I turned in my notice to my boss and was overwhelmingly pleased when he supported my decision and even encouraged me to follow my dreams (Jon, I hope you have the opportunity to read this because I want you to know that I will forever be grateful to you for your support and understanding). The positive support that flowed in from my peers and co-workers and strangers alike in the weeks between my decision to go to Japan and my arrival in that magnificent country took me off-guard and humbled me. Granted, this life-changing event came out of left field and was considered by most, including myself, to be a little rash and a lot insane. I had quit my decent paying job in a failing economy to go live in a tiny fishing village in Japan and watch dolphins be brutally murdered on a daily basis, all-the-while trying to avoid being murdered myself. There was, I’ll admit, a dash of craziness sprinkled in the mix. But it was entirely worth it and since I made that fateful decision exactly one year ago, I have never once looked back and never once regretted it.
My four months in Taiji, Japan led to two months on the M/Y Steve Irwin, Sea Shepherd’s flagship. During these months I spent on the Steve in the Mediterranean Sea, I experienced a life that I never would have known had I chosen to bypass Japan when it was presented. I met phenomenal people that I might never have crossed paths with. I fell in love with the ocean in a new way; a way of loving that I never knew existed. I saw the world and I fought for an endangered species that is paramount to our ecosystem. This past year of my life has been such that words cannot describe. I’ve lived my dream but I’ve also deeply sacrificed. Despite those sacrifices, I’ve never felt more alive and I’ve never been happier. What makes me happy won’t necessarily make you happy. And what makes you happy won’t make someone else happy. Individuals are the driving factor in the human race and being unique and true to you are just as important as making money and surviving financially in this difficult world. The time between campaigns is a brutal belly flop back into reality. I’m a professional volunteer; that means that I make absolutely no money for what I do. But life doesn’t stop simply because you chose to pursue your passion. I still have a car payment, a credit card bill, a cell phone bill. These things don’t go away and making payment deadlines when you have an account balance of zero is a terrifying feat. When I’m not on campaign, I live with my parents and I’ll be the first to say that living back at home when you’re in your 30’s is very degrading. Raising money for the next plane ticket has become my number one priority in life: I do yard work for friends, wash windows for neighbors, I sell anything I own that is worth money and I max out credit cards. It’s not a flattering way of life but I’ve lived the ‘other’ life and I can say with 100 percent certainty that when I breathe my very last breath, I will focus on the dolphins I saved from slaughter, the blue fin tuna I liberated and all the amazing people that I’ve fought alongside.
My next adventure will take place in the land Down Under; I will spend the next year living in Melbourne, Australia…..but that’s a story for another blog